Annoying The Eragon Characters
by The Psychiatric Ward
Summary: Ever wanted to annoy the Eragon characters, but have no idea how? Well you've come to the right place, here are all the ways to annoy the characters and more.


This is us annoying the Inheritance Cycle characters, Enjoy.

Ask Arya if she's homosexual

Ask Arya if she's has necrophilia over Faolin.

Try to cut off Arya's hair.

Follow her around with a pair of scissors.

Purposely mispronounce the ancient language. See what happens.

Make obvious, inappropriate comments on how Saphira lets Eragon ride her.

Loudly say you will involve the RSPCA.

If that doesn't work, even more loudly shout that Dragons have lower standards these days.

Hide.

Try to cut down the Menoa tree.

When elves rush to stop you loudly announce it is Christmas.

Go hunting for Santa's toy factory. In Ellesmera.

Ask Nasuada how it feels to be a virgin still.

Ask her if she wants you to change that.

Tell Arya that Faolin cheated on her with you.

Run, fast.

Threaten to give the Menoa tree termites.

Try to 'Christmas' up Ellesmera.

Find reindeer. Or reindeer elves.

Ask to pet Blodhgarm.

Carve 'Eragon + Arya Forever' in the Menoa tree.

Run. Hide.

Tattoo names on the back of the Twin's head.

Ask Angela if she's a witch. When she says 'Yes' look around her house, claiming to be looking for Hanzel and Gretel.

Use Glaedr's heart of hearts for bowling, and catch.

Announce to the dwarfs you've found Guntera. Present them with Glaedr's heart of hearts.

Claim only the god Guntera could talk from a stone.

In the middle of an important political meeting (preferably a dwarf meeting) announce that he goddess Saphira requires a Sacrifice of Sheep to honour her.

Ask Blodhgarm if his mother was a cat. Give him milk in a saucer, hang up Catnip and set up a scratching pole in his tent.

At a campfire with the Varden, loudly tell the story of the Great Eragon Shadeslayer, he who stole the Great Muffin from Nasuada. Use sexual innuendo.

Start calling the Twins baldy and balder.

Ask where baldy has hair that balder doesn't.

Ask how they know this.

Ask Arya out for Oromis.

Use Saphira as a bottle opener.

Go around shaking Glaedr's heart of hearts like he's a magic 8-ball and ask him questions he wouldn't know the answer to.

Ask Eragon if he's bringing sexy back.

Wait for his answer.

If he says no, whine that you want Murtagh back.

If he says yes, clap and ask him to inform you when Murtagh returns.

Loudly say that your sword is bigger then Eragon's.

Run around after the Twins and ask them to perform spells that they've never heard of.

Sing "We're off to the wizard" whenever every time Eragon mentions attacking Galby.

Ask if elves have dental.

Loudly protests, with wooden signs, that plants are people to.

Ask if Arya bathes in blood to keep her youthful appearance.

Make Eragon and Arya figurines.

When confronted, say its character building.

Maintain that magic is 'the force'.

Dye Arya's hair grey and tell her she's getting old, and ask if she ran out of blood.

Enroll the elves into the circus.

Make Blodhgarm the lion, and Nasuada the lion tamer.

Ask Nasuada if she has a fetish over blue fur.

Introduce Solembum and Blodhgarm, leave and say 'I'll leave you guys alone'.

Attempt to worm Blodhgarm.

Give Saphira 'the talk'. Smile and mention Glaedr.

Snigger and announce that Arya's a cougar.

Tell Islanzadi that Oromis impregnated Arya.

Gasp and say that you weren't supposed to tell anyone.

Mention to Islanzadi/Nasuada that you saw Eragon leaving Arya's tent. At 3 am.

Constantly pat Arya's stomach.

Ask her about Eragon Jr.

Leave pregnancy tests in her tent. Positive ones.

In a crowd of elves, wonder loudly what dragon eggs taste like. When they look at you, act as if you haven't said anything.

Sing 'Green eggs and ham' for the Blood Oath Celebration. Make it clear exactly what green eggs you're talking about.

Scream 'Mind Rape' whenever someone tries to enter your mind.

Ask Eragon if he was born in a manger.

When Eragon tells the Dwarfs he has five toes, loudly whisper to the Dwarfs he is inbred.

Threaten to give Saphira rabies.

Get people to bet on a Dragon Race, (Saphira vs. Greenie).

Have Eragon and Arya demand a cut.

Ask the elves to bring you foods that don't exist.

Ask the elves where the Christmas cheer went.

Give them presents.

Tell the elves that Saphira needs an Elf Sacrifice.

Nominate Vanir.


End file.
